I fell down (all) the rabbit hole(s) when I followed the yellow brick road, after swallowing the red pill.

Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then STOP.. Alice in Wonderland.

As I start typing this the album Rumors by Fleetwood Mac is playing in the background, and the song Dreams is on.

OH HOW Appropriate! players only love you when you’re playing. play in the background as you read this.

I saw this today and it got me thinking about the many rabbit holes I’ve fallen down over the years.

If you are an inquiring little wabbit like me, how many rabbit holes have you fallen down, When and where did your journey of discovery begin?

I was asking questions since I was a young child. One of the very early ones went something like this, “Dad!, how does a rabbit carry Easter baskets?” simple question, logical, but I was only 4 years old. When my dad looked at me perplexed, (I had younger siblings still loving the fairy tale) I crossed my arms over my chest, and said “And HOW does the Easter bunny buy all the candy?” I had visions in my head that the bunny must actually be tall and strong like a man, (like my dad) with big bunny arms where he could load up several baskets at a time, but of course, that led to the question about shopping, none of it added up. You probably know where these early inquiries led. Of course the next series of questions concerned Santa Claus, and the flying reindeer, and even more important just how was Santa watching us.

I’ve listened to a lot of opinions on these subjects concerning the fairy tales and lies we tell our children in the name of Celebrating, enjoying games, fantasy for the sake of excitement, and wonder. I have heard people adamantly express their disdain for the little lies we tell our children, because in the end they set children up for accepting BIG LIES, as necessary. They are setting children up to believe in lies, and this is very damaging. I wasn’t damaged by those lies personally, I didn’t distrust (in bold because every time I read what I wrote I accidentally say trust) my parents when I figured it out, I saw the game for what it was. HMMM. But, maybe those people who despise this were making some good points. Trust and manipulation, not questioning authority, Obeying Authority, because someone is watching and you will get punished if you step out of line. Lies are told for your protection. Stories are generated to keep you focused and believing in a certain reality. A good story is an analogy for how to live, the story is the message teaching you compliance.

I saw the connection between Santa watching us and God watching us, and I asked where God was hiding, or Santa for that matter. I asked why God didn’t tell us to stop doing something bad, or why he didn’t protect us from bad people and dangerous situations. Why are there bad people in the first place, I often wondered. If he was watching us and wanted us to do the right thing, why didn’t he just tell us, or guide us or come out of his hiding place and put a stop to the shit show? This made me a bit angry as a child, How about you? Do you remember wondering about these things, did you say to yourself “This doesn’t make sense”.

Being a student in “school/indoctrination programs” was torture for me, I was bored as hell. If I wasn’t doodling all over my class work, then I was distracting others, by pulling the kids hair sitting in front of me, or stealing and hiding someone’s shoes when they took them off at circle time, or flicking tiny pieces of paper at someone and seeing if they noticed. That seems anti social, but believe me the social part of school was all I cared about. I spent more time figuring out how to be mischievous then I did trying to do what the teacher said. This attitude led to my spending a great deal of time in the corner with my nose against the wall. Being a student at a Catholic school, introduced me very early to control systems. The nuns literally hit us with rulers, when we weren’t obeying. I luckily was spared, but not some of my classmates. I can tell you that when confession time came around, I was wary about the guy on the other side of the screen. Why did I have to tell him what I did wrong? Didn’t God who was watching already know my sins? Honestly being so young, I didn’t even know what my sins were. I confessed that I threw my lunch away and wasted food, or I told my mother I hated her under my breath when she yelled at me. Frankly I made things up. I confess that telling a priest my sins was probably one of my first big rabbit hole tumbles. But what got to me even more, was wondering why I was eating Jesus’s body.. yes that is a rabbit hole that deserves special attention.

Why do we tell the priest our secrets in the first place? Who are they that they can stand in the place of God and dole out punishment. Can I trust them? Well, as it turns out, later (not much later) in life I would be led to a huge rabbit hole. YEA, that one about the pedophile priests. Do you think that they got a lot of clues about which children would be their victims through those confessionals? It gave me the heebie jeebies as a kid to be in that little dark box and this old man on the other side of the screen making me tell him what I did wrong, my bad thoughts and all. So, hell no I wouldn’t take the bait, I didn’t tell them the truth about anything. Especially not what I was thinking about, like how the body of Jesus tasted like shit and I would sneak and spit it out. The deepest dive into the Church rabbit hole was the question I asked about the pope. How is the pope infallible, free from sin or making mistakes? Why didn’t God make all of us free from sin?

I assume, and from talking to other rabbit hole dwellers, those questions about religion are what started the sport of diving into these holes in the first place, for most people. The question about the pope led me down wormholes into other dimensions, where years passed before I would find my way back out. There was the Jesuit tube, which led to the Vatican city, which led to who wrote the bible, to the aliens in Genesis, and the the black nobility. From pine cones and all seeing eyes, to Satanic ritual abuse, and spell casting, you name it, I found it.

Once you’ve traversed the labyrinth and made it to the other side, wait! what other side? You must keep going, there is no turning back, around and around.

See the questions keep coming, the deeper you go the more there is to uncover. I went through years of uncovering the truth about Jesus, and Who Buddha really was, I can remember a rabbit trap that pointed to Buddha and Jesus being the same person. Another investigation led me to believe that Jesus never even existed, or he was made up by Sir Frances Bacon, who was the ghost writer for Shakespeare, which led me to the Really Huge and alluring hole where I learned I was hallucinating, everything was an illusion, just a dream, nothing was real, and it was all the trick of holography. I have to ask, who created the hologram? Which led me to more Authors.

I read the works of Carl Jung, J.D. Krishnamurti, David Bohm, Michael Talbot, and Tom Campbell, and more recently Donald Hoffman, Bernardo Kastrup, and even Rupert Spira. Believe me, I pulled my hair out, screamed, and threw tantrums in these rabbit holes.

I think I became an expert diver and deep dweller in these holes soon after 911. The information, the dangling carrot stick, was right at my fingertips. It was exciting and riveting. I funneled the information into my art work. Why or how this information was transformed into flower paintings I am not sure. I would be in my studio for hours painting and listening to podcasts, hours would pass in what I thought were minutes. I became increasingly productive in my art, AND the history of the world.. The real history finally?? well, that I am not sure about, as I keep finding rabbit holes, I keep looking, I keep exploring. The paintings kept me sane, so did a glass of wine most nights.

911 rabbit adventures introduced me to more secret societies, and their nefarious game plans, their esoteric knowledge, there occult truths, their magic spells, their banker wars, and that we Do NOT own anything, in fact we are slaves, prisoners, cattle in the corral so to speak. Not only did planes and buildings and people go disappearing on 911, but so did a shit load of money. That’s about when I fell down the rabbit hole of federal income tax, print as you go money, death mortgage and break away societies. Birth certificates, and ship yards, astrology, and my servitude to the master play writers, had me really angry and rebellious in those days. I also learned I was really in a play, my Character was destined by the stars I was born in and under. I learned that my consciousness was confiscated, and replaced with Avatar programming. These findings made me even more determined to think for myself, and disclose the evil that we were all being subjected to.

The last twenty years have been a blast of wild discoveries. I was led to believe there was a big secret kept from humanity. NO it was not that the earth was really flat, or that we were under a dome..Or that the annunaki are our gods, Those things were still to come much later in my travels in wonderland. It was that WE CREATE OUR REALITY. Now this was a total shocker, because it comes on the heals of finding out I had no control, I was a pig in a pen, which came on the heal, of learning that I was hallucinating a holographic reality. Do you see a pattern here? Real, unreal, and then real again. This “create my own reality” was the rabbit hole I think I would spend the most time in. I wanted to test every idea, I wanted to make things happen in my life, I wanted to take back my power, and I can tell you, that things happened, that dreams did come true, that my life experiences began to really take off in a positive way. Have you looked into this, have you experienced how you create your reality?

In coming posts I will share some of these adventures, how I used my thoughts to make a difference in my life, and although I don’t know yet how bad things happened too, I can remember plenty of bad thoughts and beliefs and feelings along the way.

I was suspicious from a young age, I had that going for me. So when convid happened , my red flags were already flying high. To this day, I am still in disbelief that it was carried out and most people believed it. Convid created craters a mile deep, no, they were no longer rabbit holes, and millions were falling into these craters eyes wide SHUT. Now that I was well practiced in the art of creating my reality I was adamant that NONE of this was going to affect me. Even though I was still finding rabbit holes, I wasn’t tumbling into them, I was going in on purpose with digging tools and ropes. The big pHARM would be the greatest of the great rabbit holes, medicine, illness, causes of disease, why people get sick, or why zebras don’t get sick, free will, and body autonomy were subjects of these rabbit holes. Did I create my own reality, had me scratching my head in consternation. Could I get sick even though I was in control of my reality? Was I in control? I think a lot of people were looking into this, so much that the Earth opened up, and took a lot of people into that crevice, they still haven’t surfaced. I explored the possibilities of personal control, and perception, of belief and fear, of compliance to someone else, to a control system or trusting my own judgment.

I began at the beginning, working my way to the end, the STOP may never come into focus, but there are some things that are very persistent. Meanwhile, here’s a new rabbit hole; Why do all my favorite bands seem to KNOW what’s going on? What gift do they have? and then there is the idea of the Construct, the simulation or the simulacrum.. wouldn’t simulation explain all these rabbit holes, all these unique versions of reality? I wish I knew!

LOL, if that’s the case, then let’s take our power back and wish again!