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As scary as reincarnation may be to some people, the idea of being forced back here; “RE INCARCERATION”, may be at a deeper level, something we do hope is true. Maybe for some of us the belief in reincarnation gives us hope that we are not mortal, but that we do live on. If we could prove it is real, then we prove that there is life after life or life after death. Of course, then there are the believers in the Abrahamic religions that claim we do not come back to life here on Earth, but rather we live eternally in a new world, a place called heaven, our own planet, or some other reality that exists in another dimension. This essay is not about exploring all the possibilities that “might” await us after the death of the body but rather one very scary one, or, perhaps to some, a comforting one… that death is the very end.
Jenna, my sweet pitbull who died on June 6th 2024
Recently, one of my sweet and most beautiful fur babies died in my arms. We rescued her off the street 10 years ago, she was stinky, muddy, skinny, heartworm positive and had recently weaned pups. My husband followed her in the truck for about 3 miles, every time she stopped running, he would get out and slowly approach her with treats. One step too close and she would take off again. Eventually I thought he should give up, I hoped she was just trying to get back home. My husband insisted and finally she climbed into the truck and came home with him. One year before Jenna arrived to bless our lives with her love, companionship and complete loyalty we had welcomed a beautiful Rottweiler puppy we named Gunther, into our lives. But that’s not all, we had a Bull Mastiff, named Henry we had rescued of the streets just a couple years earlier, an elderly Rottweiler mix, Jasper who we rescued as a puppy off the streets in Berkeley, CA, right before we would make our big move to Tennessee, and a little 8 week old Rottweiler mix puppy we call Cali, that had been running down the highway just a few weeks before Jenna arrived. Yes, by now you are thinking I am that crazy dog lady. Five big dogs, yep, crazy!
Jasper, Henry, and the newly arrived Gunther
Gunther sharing a bed with the newly arrived Jenna
We had eight wonderful years with Gunther, this pack of 4 (Jasper died within that first year of Jenna’s arrival). We took them to the Blue Ridge mountains in Northern Georgia every summer where we stayed in a big cabin on a river for a couple weeks. The first time Gunther went he literally stood for the seven-hour journey in the way back with his belly over the back seat and his feet standing on the armrest in the middle, staring out the front window. We hiked in the mountains and found every river in the woods where we would spend the days climbing the boulders, river rocks, and jumping into the deep pools. One year the river was so high and swift that we had to help the dogs, because the current was so stonge, over to the boulders in the middle, where we would hang out and launch our tubes. After settling on the large rocks, we would jump in with our tubes and float down the river just a little ways, get out and run back to the launching point, the dogs usually just waited on the rocks. It was Jenna’s first trip, so when I Jumped into the water and hooted, she thought I was in trouble and
Jenna and Gunther on the rock in the middle of the river
Gunther loved the river
jumped into the rapidly moving, churning water after me. Immediately I saw the fear in her sweet brown eyes as she desperately paddled towards me. I realized then that she had jumped in to save me, but it was me who had to grab her into the safety of my tube and get her back to the rock. This loyalty, would be the defining and endearing attribute of Jenna’s character, not only hers but all of my dogs. Even in fear, they were always there to protect us, to stand loyally with us, to be our companions. They read us like we read a good book. Always watching us, they knew when I was just thinking to myself that it would be nice to take them on a walk. Literally they would start pacing around me, hoping that I would pick them first. They knew when my husband was getting in his car to come home from 3 miles away. It never failed, they would get up and go sit by the door to wait for him. He came home at different times, so it wasn’t a routine like thing going on. Times varied daily and weekly, but they knew when he was on his way home.
Symbols, and supernatural happenings
This interesting phenomenon is what leads me to my ideas about reality, about reincarnation, about mortality, after life, and the possibility that we are living in a simulation. It was the Spring of 2020, the world was in turmoil, but for me a far worse tragedy was unfolding in my own backyard. We were sitting out back in our little oasis, trying to escape the headlines of pandemics and widespread death, when at the same moment in time my husband and I noticed a lump right in the center of Gunther’s forehead. It must have popped out overnight. We were both sure it hadn’t been there the day before. The rest of the weekend passed with nervous anticipation as we waited to take Gunther to the vet for an evaluation. The news wasn’t good, a biopsy confirmed Osteosarcoma, a deadly and horrific cancer of the bone. What would be even more insufferable, was the location of this tumor, In the middle of his forehead. There was no treatment, no surgery, no options. They told us we had 6 months at the most. Our veterinarian told us it would deform him, and it would be devastating to witness, but in her observations many dogs would continue to function normally even when it looked so horrible. She told us to let Gunther tell us when he could bear it no more.
The day we noticed the bump. It appeared overnight.
In the next three months, ending the summer season, Gunther slowed down quite a bit, I would find him sleeping in the dark corner of a back bedroom where it was cool and quiet. If he wasn’t there, he was sleeping under my feet at my worktable (where I paint, and do my crafts). He slept the days away. His mornings however were always cheery, he ate with enthusiasm, gobbling down a raw food diet, and he would wait at the door knowing that we were going to take him for a ride up the road to his favorite park. By September the tumor had doubled in size about the size of a hardball.
Gunther loved to see the buffalo
By November the tumor was now the size of a grapefruit, a deformed grapefruit, it had caused one of his eyes to sink into his socket while it bulged his other eye out. It was hideous to look at, but he wasn’t complaining. He still eagerly jumped in the car each morning and sniffed his way around the park, finding his favorite little water holes, and digging up treasures, finding old tennis balls, and other items that he would carry around with him while on the walk. The last photo we took of Gunther was of him sitting on top a giant stump.
Gunther was 120 lb dog, this truly is a GIANT stump, It was one of our stops at the park, Gunther climbed the stumps since the first day we brought him home
ON December 1st, 2020, Gunther died in my arms, while we all stood around him, our hands on him, and whispering to him how much we loved him. He had stopped eating 2 days prior and did not get up to go to the park. That morning he adamantly lifted his paw and slapped his breakfast bowl out of my hands, and looked away. This is not something I like to make decisions on, when and how to “put a dog down” as we “fondly” refer to the act of euthanasia, but Gunther had made it clear he was having no more of this suffering and he was calling it quits. We were lucky to have a Dr. who would come to our house, who sedated the dog before administering the dose that would end his life.
The Appearance of the Cardinal
Gunther’s body laid on the couch where the other dogs sniffed at him and licked him, while we went out back to dig out his final resting place. I had tears streaming the entire time, and mud smeared down my cheeks as I continued to wipe the tears away and dig. After Gunther was wrapped in a blanket and buried, I sat down by the gate and talked to him. Hoping that his Spirit was able to hear me and that he was ok. I looked up to see a very crimson red Cardinal land on the gate and begin to sing, Reefer reefer, reefer, or was it Reaper Reaper, Reaper.. But he sang, and sang, and then would stop and look at me. He was only a couple feet away from me. He would tilt his head and look at me from one eye, then tilt his head and look down at me from the other eye. This went on for at least 10 minutes. The next morning when I went out to the grave, it was only a minute before the cardinal appeared again and sang to me. This was a time in my life when I was very aware of symbolism, and was researching the Nature of reality, going down many rabbit holes. That morning after watching the Cardinal I came in and looked up the Spiritual Symbolism of the Cardinal.
Cardinals are considered sacred messengers from the spirit world, bringing comfort, guidance, and protection, especially during times of grief.
It is quite possible that if you are noticing Cardinals, then someone from the spirit world is trying to reach you.
Many people believe seeing a cardinal is a sign that those who have passed are with us in spirit. These people believe that the redbird is carrying a message from a deceased mother, father, sister, brother or friend. The bird is seen as a go-between from the great beyond to those still here on Earth.
blurry but There he is the Cardinal sitting on the fence to the left of the gate, Gunther is buried to the right on the other side of the gate. The cardinal comes regularly passing in and out of the gate.
A couple weeks after Gunther passed the family took the remaining pack to the park for a walk. We were reminiscing about Gunther and his love for the park, sharing stories of the things we missed about him when the strangest thing happened. This was something I had never seen before. We started to see cardinals everywhere we looked, up in the trees, down on the ground, flying by us. They were primarily male, beautiful bursts of crimson red appearing everywhere. They were a flock of cardinals. None of us could recall having ever seen so many cardinals together at one time, flying together, landing in the trees together. It was an amazing sight and all of us agreed that it was Gunther making sure we knew that he was there with us in Spirit.
The spring would bring us another surprise and what seemed like a connection to Gunther in the afterlife…
Gunther is buried under the Wisteria to the right of the gate on the other side of the fence and under the canopy of the Great Oak tree, which seems to have formed the shape of Gunther’s head, tumor and all.
One of many visits the cardinal would make over the wisteria in the summer months that followed Gunther’s passing
THE SHAPING OF THE GIANT OAK TREE
In the spring of 2021 almost 6 months had passed since Gunther died, once again I was sitting outside thinking about him, waiting on the cardinal to appear when I noticed something that made me catch my breath. The oak tree was now in full bloom, all of it’s leaves fully grown and gently blowing in the breeze. What took my breath away was the overall shape of the full canopy. It looked exactly like Gunther’s head in the early days of his tumor. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, jumped up and ran inside to tell everyone. We all came out and were in total agreeance that we were all seeing something that just could not be a coincidence. It had to be some supernatural connection to Gunther who was buried right under the canopy of that tree.
I made the image black and white to show clearly the shape of the Giant oak in the middle of the photo
Gunther looking out at Izzy.
It has been three and a half years now since Gunther passed and the Cardinal comes by and sings over his grave, which brings me back to the beginning of my story…no not the reincarnation part just yet, but the part about Jenna. Jenna was probably about 15 years old, and in the last year she had really started slowing down, her fur was white around her mouth and she started losing weight. But it was about a few weeks ago, we noticed that she would get tired and lay down after walking only a few feet. At the beginning of this week, we took her to the vet and learned that she had a giant tumor on her spleen and blood in her abdomen. The loss of blood was likely causing her extreme weakness and tiredness, due to anemia. We brought her home from the vet and prepared ourselves for the worst. But more important to spend time with her, knowing it would be our goodbye. We made her as comfortable as we could, and someone was with her around the clock. On the third morning she refused her food and could not stand up anymore. We knew it was time. Just like Gunther we gathered around holding her, comforting her, and telling her how much we loved her as she took her final breath. This time when we went out to dig the grave I kept an eye out for the Cardinal. But he did not appear. Jenna is buried right next to Gunther.
That evening we went out back to have a little memorial for Jenna, my son called to say he was on the way over. Jenna and he had a close bond as they grew up together, she always slept with him in his room. The night before she died, when my son showed up to visit her, she had managed to stand up and walk into the kitchen, with tail wagging to greet him. While on the phone on the night of her passing, he asked me if the cardinal had come to sing. I said in a disappointed voice, ”NO, not yet”, just as I said that the cardinal swooped right past me at eye level, flew into the next door yard and disappeared into the trees. I exclaimed to my son what had just happened, and suddenly as if at the top of it’s lungs the cardinal started singing, belting out his song, he was so loud my son could hear him over the phone. It was like Jenna had told the Cardinal my favorite human is asking about me, Tell him I am ok. After I got off the phone I sat down on the couch outside and looked over at Jenna’s grave through the fence.
It was only a couple of minutes when suddenly the cardinal landed in the Wisteria right above her grave. He was making quiet a show of himself flipping around and batting his wings up and down. Soon his loyal mate arrived and together they seemed to be dancing in the tree above her grave. At
one point their beaks met as if they were kissing. I tried to snap several pictures but most of them came out a bit blurry. Never the less I did get some photos.
there he is at the top middle, and follow the thin stringy twig below him to the female at the end of the twig where it branches into a y.
The cardinal flapping his wings like he is dancing
The two together in the wisteria right above Gunther and Jenna’s graves
We were all sure that the cardinals were relaying the message to us that Jenna had made it safely to her afterlife, and she was dancing with Gunther and celebrating their reunion. It will be interesting to watch the Oak tree through this summer, will the branches on it’s East side take on the shape of Jenna’s head?
Now you are probably wondering what all this has to do with reincarnation, a hive mind and the concept of Simulation. While the cardinal has been such a comfort to me as I grieve the loss of my beloved dogs, I do not in the end believe that Gunther and Jenna or anyone else for that matter are actually communicating with me. I do not believe that the cardinal is a messenger from heaven coming to tell me that they are fine. I am not sure that reincarnation is real. What I do have is years of study of the different ancient religions, and beliefs about death and afterlife. Besides the religious concepts of Heaven and Hell, or Eternal life with the Creator, I also have spent years researching consciousness, and theories about reality. I have studied the idea that all life is an illusion, that we are in a dream, and most recently that we are in a simulation. So, in part two of this essay I am going to address what I think is going on with my experiences, why I don’t buy into reincarnation or karma, what the universe could be, and what I think about simulation theory. Stay tuned! And thank you for coming by.
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Throughout all of this we must observe the Cardinal Rule:
I have NEVER seen a FLOCK of cardinals in my entire life.
It means something.
Don't know what it means but it means something.
Waiting for Part 2.
Oak Tree.
Dog head Profile.
Beyond the probability of possibility.